


Kama Sutra

by thatwriterlady



Series: 30 Day Writing Challenge 2015 [8]
Category: Supernatural
Genre: Bendy Castiel, Castiel Loves Dean Winchester, Dean misreads Castiel's behavior, Dean's stubborn, Fluff and Angst, Funny, Kama Sutra, Kissing, M/M, Making Sam Winchester Uncomfortable, Mostly Fluff, Sexual Content
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-11-08
Updated: 2015-11-08
Packaged: 2018-05-01 13:41:01
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 5,286
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/5207930
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/thatwriterlady/pseuds/thatwriterlady
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Cas thinks about what books he likes and doesn't like, and one in particular stands out.  The book doesn't have any real meaning until he finds that Dean is willing to read it with him.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Kama Sutra

**Author's Note:**

> I apologize for the ridiculously short summary, I'm exhausted. My work has been dicking us around the last few weeks. Well, it's not so much them as it is the fact that we have to meet our client's needs, and we're not. It's going into slow season (I'm a cust. service rep) so the client cut hours. There's not enough for the 50 or so of us that work this account, so they sent down the orders to axe 14 of us until February.
> 
> Guess who found out she was on the cutting block today? 
> 
> To make matters worse they've been offering jump offs. That's where they let reps go home early in order to cut costs. That's all fine and dandy until you realize that those of us who can't afford to lose extra hours (I've already been cut down from 5 to 4 days a week) are stuck with the now insanely high call volume (wow, so much for the slow season!), and are basically losing our minds. I had nonstop, back to back to back calls all week long. This coming Friday is my last day, then I'm off for a week (no pay either!) before I start training for the new position. And on top of that? The hours are horrid. I could end up working up to 1am. I want to scream! Why can't I be famous like J.K. Rowling? I want my books to sell so well I can tell this job to stuff it! Because they don't care about us like they should. Well, my company does. The client, however, does not. 
> 
> That's my rant for the day. I'm so exhausted that I'm crawling into bed after I post this. Enjoy!
> 
> Today's Challenge: A book you love, and one you didn't.
> 
> For the record, one I love is The Black Death. One I hate, Catcher in the Rye.

Since becoming human, Cas’ greatest pleasure was reading. Sure, Metatron had given him the knowledge of all the books, movies, and music in the world, but only up to a certain point. New stuff was being created all the time, and since becoming human, a lot of the pre-existing knowledge had faded. That was a lot to try and remember! So reading was a great joy for him. It was late in September when he got injured on a werewolf hunt, so he stayed at the bunker, reading while Sam and Dean tracked down a case of missing schoolgirls. There were books he came to love, and a few he really, really didn’t like. The ones that were sports related, he just couldn’t get into, but some of the classic literature was absolutely fascinating.

It was while searching through the library’s myriad of books that he came across one in particular. The knowledge of its contents was indeed inside his head, but the memories were fuzzy now, many things from it forgotten. Of all the books written throughout time, this was one he had always puzzled over why Metatron had put it in his head. As he plucked the tome from the shelf and dusted it off, he continued to wonder, what benefits had the other angel gained from such knowledge. And what could he, himself possibly gain from reading through it. Curiosity, an increasing human trait for him, got the better of him and he took the book down to his room. It wasn’t exactly conversational, and the last thing he wanted was for one of the hunters to see him with this particular book.

 

When the Winchesters finally arrived at the bunker three days later, Cas was nowhere to be seen.

“I bet he’s still watching Netflix,” Sam said with a chuckle.

“You’ve gone ahead and created a totally different kind of monster, you know that? One that binge watches shitty TV shows and spills nacho cheese on his dress shirts,” Dean grinned.

“Like you mind. He had to borrow your Metallica shirt,” Sam pointed out. Dean shrugged. The shirt did look good on Cas.

They parted ways, each heading to their own rooms, and Sam to find the former angel in his room watching some ridiculous show or another, but Cas was not there. He walked down the hall to his brother’s room and knocked.

“Come in,” Dean called out. Sam opened the door and walked in to find Dean folding and putting away his clothes. He would have sworn his brother looked mildly disappointed that it was him knocking and not Cas.

“Cas isn’t in my room,” he told him. Dean looked up with one eyebrow cocked.

“Did you bother to check _his_ room?”

Sam frowned. “Well, no…”

“Why do you want him anyway? He’s probably reading again. Likes the peace and quiet,” Dean said. Sam nodded. He was right, Cas and his books were a force to be reckoned with.

“No reason. I was going to see how his arm was healing.”

“I’ll check on him in a few. I just need to put away my clean clothes and toss my dirties in the washer. You should get your clothes together; you didn’t before we left,” Dean told him. 

“Yeah, ok. I’ll see you later.” Sam strode out of the room, laundry being his new mission.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Dean put away the few clean clothes he had not used on the hunt and started a load in the washer before he went down to Cas’ room. He knocked and waited. A moment later the door opened.

“Hello, Dean. I heard you and Sam return. How was the hunt?” Cas asked.

“We got our asses handed to us. It was an Okami. Haven’t seen one of those in ages and didn’t realize there even were any here. But…there was,” Dean replied.

“Did you find the girls?” Cas hoped they were alright. The grimace on the hunter’s face said otherwise.

“We did. Only one survivor though. Took her back to her family. This Okami was smart. Ran a school bus off the road and took every girl on it. Seventeen in all. Was keeping them in cages inside of a cave and feeding on them. I wish we’d gotten the right leads just a few days sooner. We could have saved more of them.” 

Cas could hear the pain in his friend’s voice. Dean was a saver. He wanted to save everyone and it pained him deeply when he could not. Cas wanted badly to make the hunter feel better but he could not. Thankfully, Dean changed the subject.

“So what are you doing, just holing up in your room reading?” he asked. Cas glanced back towards his bed where he had left the book lying open. Suddenly he wished he had tucked it under his mattress. Dean followed his gaze, his eyes falling on the book. He cocked his head as he took in the tiny pictures but the slow realization hit him. He knew what Cas was reading. Hell, he had read the same book years earlier! A wicked grin formed as all sorts of dirty thoughts began to fill his head. All the ways he wished he could just bend Cas over and…

“Cas, are you reading… _the Kama Sutra_?!” He dropped his voice, afraid Sam would pop up with his annoying feelings radar and try to analyze the situation. Cas stiffened, his blue eyes going wide.

“I, um…well…” 

“Dude, I’m not going to say anything. I’m just wondering, why?” Dean had found it amusing that a former angel of the Lord was reading a book on sex positions, until a certain thought occurred to him. His cocky smile faded.

“Unless you met someone. Did you meet someone? That you maybe want to try some of those positions with?” He was trying desperately not to sound pathetic. 

“What? No! I mean…I have not met anyone outside of the bunker that I would wish to try something of that nature with.” Cas stumbled over his words. Dean relaxed and nodded.

Wait.

What?

“What do you mean outside of the bunker? What the hell does _that_ mean?”

Cas’ eyes widened again and this time he slammed the door in Dean’s face, leaving a confused and shocked hunter standing in the hall with his jaw dropped. Of course that was the moment Sam appeared. Walking down the hall with a basket of dirty clothes on his way to the laundry room.

“Cas ok?” he asked.

“Oh, he’s just _dandy_. Busy reading his little books,” Dean replied. Sam frowned at the sound of irritation in his brother’s voice. 

“You’re mad that he’s reading?” he asked.

“No, I’m not mad that he’s reading. Just drop it. Go wash your clothes. Move mine to the dryer if you wouldn’t mind.” Dean started for his own room. After that bizarre conversation he just wanted to be alone.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

The next time Dean saw Cas he didn’t say so much as two words to him. He was still pissed. Cas was busy talking in the library with Sam, laughing at something his brother said and he couldn’t help but wonder again what Cas had meant. Did he want to do those things with Sam? Would Sam want to do those things with Cas? It just made him angrier to think of such things, so he stormed off to his room, slamming the door behind him for good measure. If Cas had the hots for Sam, there was no way he was going to stay in the bunker. He had been in denial of his own feelings for years now, but just thinking of Cas being with his brother made his heart ache terribly and he knew there was no way he could just sit back and watch them falling in love. Sam was straight, but Sam was pretty flexible too. And Cas was amazing. How could Sam not fall in love with him? 

Thinking such thoughts put Dean into the foulest mood he’d experienced since losing the mark, and he spent days at a time in his room. Neither Cas nor Sam bothered him, which just further worsened his mood. It was two weeks later, after hearing his brother and Cas talking in the living room and coming around the corner to see them sitting close, whispering to one another that he snapped. 

“I’m moving out,” he announced. Both Sam and Cas looked up in shock.

“What the hell?” Sam snapped.

“I need my space, and you guys clearly need yours. I’m going to rent an apartment in town. I’ll be available for cases and stuff, but I’m not staying here.” 

“Dean, you can’t leave.” Cas was getting to his feet, but Dean was having none of that. He marched down the hall to his room, slamming the door behind him.

“I told you. You need to tell him how you feel. He thinks you don’t love him or want him. Or worse, that you don’t need him. The idiot’s head over heels in love with you,” Sam said with a sigh. Cas stared sadly down the hall towards where Dean had left. He was no doubt in his room packing right that second.

“I do need him. I love him, Sam. Do I just walk up and tell him that?” He turned to look at the younger hunter, needing his guidance in this matter.

“Yes. Dean isn’t a ‘deep feelings’ kind of guy. And hints are not his strong suit. If you love him, you need to say as much. Be clear and upfront with your words so that he is left with no doubt about how you feel. Go now, before the moron packs all his crap up.”

Cas nodded. “Alright. I hope he will listen to me.”

“Make him listen.” Sam motioned for him to go. Dean had been a dick for weeks and neither of them knew why. All Cas could talk about was Dean and how much he loved him. He knew his brother loved Cas in return. Why did they have to make it so difficult?!

Cas hurried down the hall, stopping in front of Dean’s room. He took a deep breath and knocked.

“Go away,” Dean grumbled. Cas could hear him in there moving around. He felt a jolt of fear at the thought of Dean leaving.

“No. Let me in, Dean,” he said firmly, trying not to let his nerves betray him.

“Go cuddle with Sam and leave me alone!” Dean shouted. Cuddle with Sam? Why on earth would he want to do that?

“I do not wish to share any affections such as that with your brother. He is not the one whom I am interested in,” Cas said calmly. The movement on the other side of the door stopped. A moment later he heard the lock click and the door swung open a few inches. 

“You said you weren’t interested in anyone outside of the bunker. Were you lying?” Dean asked, his eyes narrowing.

“What on earth are you-” Cas’ mind played back to their last real conversation several weeks earlier. He rolled his eyes and let out an irritated sigh. “You thought I meant _Sam_?”

The door opened a little wider and Dean’s disgruntled expression relaxed some.

“I will say this one time, Dean Winchester. You need to stop jumping to conclusions. I have never and will never have romantic interest in your brother. He is my friend, and that is all that we are. Are you quite finished pouting now?” The irritation Cas felt bled through into his voice but he couldn’t help it. Sometimes Dean frustrated him more than any other human could. Dean glared at him.

“Are you quite finished insulting me? I have to finish packing, _excuse me_.” He snapped and moved to close the door but Cas’ hand shot out to block it.

“Oh no you don’t. You are going to hear me out because I need to say this.” There was fire in Cas’ eyes that if he were an angel still, Dean was fairly sure he’d be smote right at that moment. His confusion and surprise were enough to give Cas the upper hand, and he shoved the door open, marching into the room.

“Hey!” 

“Don’t you take that tone with me.” Cas spun around to face him, still upset, and placed his hands on his hips.

“You got an attitude first!” Dean crossed his arms and looked off towards his closet. Cas didn’t want to stay angry though. He moved closer, reaching out to place a hand over where the mark he had left behind all those years ago had been. He could almost still feel it.

“Please look at me, Dean,” he pleaded softly and finally the man did.

“What?”

“Please don’t leave. I need you here.” Dean pulled away, pacing across the room and putting his back to Cas.

“I don’t see why. You just told me I’m stupid.” 

Cas clenched his jaw and forced himself to take a deep breath. He could sense how vulnerable Dean was in this moment. If he reacted wrong he would push the man over the edge, and he would leave in a fit of anger. As he closed the door and locked it, he realized there was really only one thing he could say that the hunter would actually hear. No more beating around the bush. Sam was right, blunt and straightforward was the way to deal with this man.

“I love you.” 

Dean’s arms dropped to his sides and he turned around, the look of absolute shock on his face was too raw for him to be faking it. He honestly hadn’t thought Cas (or probably anyone at all, knowing Dean) was capable of loving him.

“You…love… _me_?” There was awe mixed in there. Cas moved closer.

“You weren’t supposed to see what I was reading that day. You or Sam. I didn’t mean to push you away like I did, but I was scared, worried of how you would react. And I don’t care for some of the teasing. I wasn’t in my room practicing the positions, I was simply reading. They need two people to be of any interest to me or anyone, so how could I possibly be doing anything except reading? I didn’t want you to judge me.” 

Dean dropped his eyes to the floor. “I’m sorry, that’s how I joke with Sam. I wasn’t thinking.”

“If you joke with me the same as you do Sam, does that mean you see me in the same way you do him?” Cas was horrified by the thought that Dean might reject him. He stumbled backwards.

“Oh, I have made a mistake here. Let us forget this conversation, ok? I’m going to my room…” He turned quickly, intending to flee from the room but Dean caught his arm, holding him in place.

“No, I don’t look at you like I do my brother. I see you differently, Cas. Please don’t leave.” He slowly relaxed his grip on his friend’s arm.

“Was I mistaken in telling you how I feel before?” Cas asked.

“No, you weren’t. I’m sorry, I wasn’t thinking. I know I jump to conclusions, and sometimes they’re the wrong ones. I didn’t know you felt that way about me. Wait, you’re not saying you love me just like as friends, right?” Dean was worrying his lower lip as he peered up at him. Sam had said be blunt and straightforward.

Cas grabbed Dean’s face and kissed him.

It wasn’t graceful, and he winced as he bumped his own lip too hard against Dean’s teeth, but the way Dean grabbed him and pulled him close told him he was definitely getting his point across.

“I hope I’ve made my point,” he gasped when they finally broke apart for air.

“Crystal,” Dean said before diving back in again. This time it was careful, their mouths meeting and moving together, and Cas groaned when Dean’s tongue slid over his swollen lip, urging him to open up. So he did.

Cas had experience kissing. Hell, he had experience with sex too, but kissing Daphne and kissing April had not been like this. It had lacked intensity and passion. That was not the issue with Dean. There was fire with Dean that he had always known would carry over into his sex life, though until very recently Cas hadn’t had nearly as much interest in that aspect of things. Until he became human this last time around. He had needs that he was having a miserable time ignoring. And truth be told, he didn’t want to ignore them. Dean’s hands were moving from his hips around to his butt, squeezing and drawing a surprised gasp from Cas.

“What are we doing here, Cas? I’ve never done this before.” Dean was panting and as close as Cas was pressed against him he could tell the hunter had an erection. He’d always known Dean found him attractive, but this was quite exciting. He shifted his own hips, moaning as his own erection rubbed against Dean’s.

“Oh! I like that! That feels good!” he gasped. Dean chuckled, returning his hands to Cas’ hips and rubbing small circles through the jeans he was wearing. He tried to move forward again but Dean held him in place.

“Dean!” Cas whined and tugged at the man’s shirt.

“Angel, I need to know what it is we’re doing here. I-I don’t want just some casual fuck. Not with you. You’re too special for that,” Dean said softly. Cas brought his arms up and encircled the hunter’s neck.

“I don’t want casual either. I would not have bothered coming in here to tell you that I love you if I thought I just wanted to have sex once and leave. I know I’m reacquainting myself with being human again, but I want to do things right this time. I want you, Dean. All of you. I believe the term is life partner? Or perhaps you like the term boyfriend better.” He kissed Dean’s cheek, speaking the words softly against his skin and feeling the hunter melt under his touch.

“Boyfriend sounds like it’s for teenage girls. Partner is good. You really want me as your partner?” His voice was full of wonder and it brought a smile to Cas’ lips to hear him speak like that.

“Yes, I do. For the rest of my human existence if you will have me,” Cas whispered against his throat before kissing him tenderly just below his jaw.

“Cas…” It came out as a sigh but he wasn’t arguing. Cas knew in that moment he was loved and wanted, even if Dean wasn’t saying it.

“Does this mean we can have sex? I want to have sex.” He pushed against Dean again and this time he met no resistance. The friction as Dean grabbed his hips and pulled him forward to grind against him was incredible and he kissed the man again.

“Come here, babe.” Dean pulled back, taking Cas by the hand and leading him over to the bed. He let go long enough to grab his duffel bag and shove it back in the closet, and then he was back, standing in front of Cas as he tugged at the edges of the tee shirt he wore.

“Can I?” 

Cas smiled at how shy Dean seemed all of a sudden. He had seen the way Dean was with women. Strong, confident, flirtatious, but he hadn’t been in love with them. The tender way the hunter was treating him told him how much he really meant to him. He nodded, lifting his arms up as Dean slid the shirt up and over his head.

“I can’t believe I get to have this.” Again there was awe in Dean’s voice as he dropped the tee shirt and spread his fingers across Cas’ chest. He shivered under the hunter’s gentle touch.

“Shall I go get the book? Perhaps there are some positions you would like to try. I know there are a few I am interested in.” Cas said, searching Dean’s eyes for any sign that his suggestion was a bad idea. One eyebrow was lifted in surprise, but then he was grinning.

“Oh really?”

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Sam hadn’t heard anything past the initial arguing. It had quickly fallen silent and he hadn’t heard any doors slamming, so he took that as a good sign. He spotted a copy of Animal Farm on the couch and picked it up. It was well read, dog eared with pages creased, but not by Cas. This was his own copy. Cas had probably found it and read it. Deciding he wanted to reread it, he picked it up and started for his room. He was just turning to page one when he caught a flash of movement ahead. Looking up he saw a shirtless Cas darting into his bedroom. After having come out of Dean’s room. Sam was curious about that one. When he came out he spotted Sam, he walked over, a huge, happy grin on his face.

“Thank you, Sam. You were right. Being up front and honest did the trick. Dean will not be leaving.” 

“That’s good. Um…any reason why you’re shirtless?” Sam asked, stifling his urge to laugh.

“Oh, we have been discussing our feelings for one another. Well, mostly I’ve been confessing. I believe he might still be mildly in shock. He has agreed to be my life partner. Anyway, we’re about to have sex. I am very excited about that.” The way Cas leaned towards him and dropped his voice, as though he were sharing an exciting secret with him made Sam smile.

“Well, good for you. I’m glad the walls are thick.” Sam patted the man on the shoulder and went to step around him when he noticed the book Cas was holding. His eyes widened and his eyebrows shot up.

“Really? And Dean’s ok with that? Wait, what am I saying, of course he’s ok with that. Ewww, go on, have fun. I’ll see you guys in the morning.” Sam watched Cas practically skip back down the hall and dart into Dean’s room. Maybe Animal Farm wasn’t deep enough reading material tonight. Turning around he headed for the library. There had to be something in there that would erase the fact that he knew what his brother and friend were doing right that moment.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

The following morning the bunker was silent. Sam stretched as he sat up. He wondered if the two lovebirds had worn one another out enough to sleep in. The idea that he could get the first cup of coffee was enticing enough to pull him from the warmth of his bed, and he headed to the kitchen.

Though he heard the noises before he actually saw anything, his brain was still half asleep and not completely caught up to his ears as he walked into the kitchen. It caught up fast though. Cas was naked, bent over the kitchen table as Dean pounded into him from behind.

“Dean! Oh my GOD!” Sam ended up smacking himself in the face as he tried to cover his eyes, and he nearly fell as he staggered back out of the room.

“This one’s called Congress of Cow!” Cas called after him as he raced back to his bedroom, the sound of grunts and moans haunting him all the way there.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Sam decided it was safest to just stay in his bedroom all morning but by noon he was starving and desperate for something to eat, so he quietly slipped down the hall, pausing outside the kitchen, listening for any sounds that the room wasn’t fully vacant before he finally poked his head in. He was relieved to see it was empty. There was even a fresh pot of coffee. He looked at the table in disgust as he passed it on his way to the fridge. It only took a few minutes to prepare himself a sandwich and pour a cup of coffee. He decided he wanted to read up some lore and headed for the library. 

The sight of Cas lying naked on the center table with his knees pressed into his chest as Dean slammed into him was not what he was expecting. The plate and cup fell from his hands as he ran from the room, his hands over his ears to block out the sounds his brother and Cas were making.

“This one’s called The Pressed Position, Sam!” Cas called after him.

He screamed the entire way back to his room.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

By dinner he was sending up silent prayer that the sexual deviants he lives with were DONE. He had managed to do most of his research from his computer while holed up in his bedroom, but he was downright starving and even if his brother was plowing Cas like freshly driven snow, he was getting something to eat!

He marched down the hall, his ears alert for the sounds of sex as his eyes darted in every direction. The last thing he wanted to see was his brother’s balls slapping against the back of Cas’ thighs.

Again.

The kitchen was clear and there was a note on the table.

_Sorry about earlier. Cas is hungry so I’m taking him out to eat. He wanted a real date, so that’s what we’re doing. I made you chicken though, it’s in the oven keeping warm. Make your rabbit food and toss it in. We’ll be home later._

_Dean_

Sam went to the oven and opened it. He had no idea how long it had been in there but he didn’t really care. He pulled the pan out and quickly put together a hearty salad, throwing the strips of chicken on top. He leaned back against the counter and devoured the food. When he was done he realized he was still hungry so he microwaved a potato and ate that too. With a bottle of beer in hand he started for the den.

Apparently the note had been written hours earlier because this time he was looking at Cas riding his brother like a bucking bronco. His dinner was threatening to come back up. Squeezing his eyes shut he backed out of the room, praying they hadn’t seen him.

“This one’s called The Mare Position!” Cas called after him.

Yeah, he was going to quite literally “ _toss his salad_.”

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

The next morning Sam got wise. He texted his brother first.

Sam: Are you and Cas still humping like bunnies? Is it safe to come out of my room?

It was more than twenty minutes before his brother finally responded.

Dean: He’s an animal, what can I say?

Sam bitch faced at the phone and hoped Dean could feel it.

Sam: That doesn’t answer my question!

Dean: It’s safe, we’re in my room. 

Sam: Well, keep the sexcapades confined to your room. I live here too!

Dean: I can’t make any promises…

Sam could almost see his smirk right the phone.

“Bastard.” He murmured under his breath.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Breakfast was uneventful and he managed to make it to the library without being scarred yet again for life. He pulled out a book on mermaids and settled into a seat as far from the middle table as possible to do some research. He tensed some time later when he heard voices headed his way.

“Dean, this one looks like fun, can’t we try this one next?” Cas was asking. Sam shuddered. He really hoped they weren’t discussing sex positions.

“Yeah, I’m game for it. Aren’t you sore though, sweetheart?” 

Sam was actually touched by the concern and tenderness he could hear in his brother’s voice as he spoke. He was also repulsed, but that was a moot point.

“I am. Maybe I could try it on you?” 

Sam grimaced. Cas was flirting. His breakfast was threatening to come back up.

“I think that can be arranged. What is that one called anyway?” Dean’s tone was just as flirty and yes, Sam’s breakfast was about to make a reappearance.

“It’s the Elephant Posture,” Cas replied.

“Ok, I’m ready when you are,” Dean said.

Yes, Sam threw up a little in his mouth.

“Where shall we do this one?” Cas asked. 

“Mmmm…I’m gonna let you take me in the front seat of Baby,” Dean replied.

“In your car?” Cas was shocked, Sam could hear it. Hell, _he_ was shocked.

“Yeah. It’ll be a couple of firsts.” Dean laughed. The voices were moving away as they headed for the garage. Sam pulled his phone out of his pocket and hit dial.

“Yellow.” A familiar voice greeted him.

“Hey there Garth. How have you been?” 

“Oh, Sam! Hey, how are ya? I’m good! What has you calling? You and Dean are ok, right?” Garth was perky as ever.

“Oh yeah, we’re fine, just fine. In fact, Dean’s doing very, very well. I’m thinking of letting him have the bunker for a few days. Maybe a few weeks actually,” Sam replied.

“Oh, well you can come on up and visit the family. It’s been too long since I’ve seen ya.” 

“I may pass through. I was actually aiming for one of the safe houses. I need some peace and quiet,” Sam admitted.

“You have that huge bunker and it’s not quiet?” Garth asked. Sam could tell he was puzzled.

“Dean and Cas, they, uh, discovered a book.” 

“What kind of book? Nothing spelled I hope,” Garth said worriedly.

“No, no, though it’s bad enough in its own way.” Sam sighed and ran a hand through his hair.

“What kind of book?”

“The Kama Sutra,” Sam replied.

“Oh,” Garth said. A small gasp escaped.

“OHHHHH!!!!!!!”

“Yeah.” Sam grimaced and glanced up at the door, making sure he was still alone.

“I understand why you need time alone. If they’re working through all of those positions it could take a while. You might want a month up at the cabin. I can bring provisions to the one at the base of the mountain. No creatures up there, save for a few bears. It’s quiet,” Garth offered.

“I’d appreciate that man.”

“No problem! I’ll go shopping tomorrow and get everything you might need. Just head on up,” Garth said cheerily.

The not so soft sounds of Dean screaming Cas’ name filtered into the room.

“Is that…” Garth gasped.

“Uh huh. So I’ll be heading your way as soon as they’re done in the garage and I can get my car. I’m going to pack in the meantime.” Sam got up, shoving the book he’d been reading back on the shelf and starting for his room.

“Sure thing, Sam. Drive safe!”

“Hey Garth, you…wouldn’t happen to know how many positions are in the Kama Sutra, would you?” Sam asked.

“Well, it’s not just a book of sex. It has poetry, verses, and more. But as for the sexual positions? Sixty four.” Garth replied.

“Sixty…four…” Sam echoed. Dean screamed again and Sam ran for his room.

“Go shopping now, man. I’ll be there by tonight!”

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

As Dean pulled his shirt back over his head Cas sat up, clutching the Kama Sutra to his bare chest.

“Was that pleasurable?” he asked.

“Sweetheart, that was the best sex I’ve ever had. I definitely want to do _that_ one again soon, but in our bed, not the car. It’s too cramped in here,” Dean replied. Cas was grinning so wide his face hurt. Dean had said _our_ bed. 

“This is my favorite book,” he announced. Dean smiled and leaned in to kiss him.

“Guess it’s mine now too.”

**Author's Note:**

> So I hope you all got a good laugh out of this one. And thank you to my beautiful Beta Monijune for editing this one and proofreading it for me. You're my guardian angel!
> 
> Leave a comment and a kudos, let me know what you think!
> 
> My bed, it's calling my name...goodnight!


End file.
